Watching the NHL

Hockey Players Entertain Without Resorting to NFL-like Antics

© Stephen Ellison

Oct 16, 2008

NHL players run the gamut of athleticism, and they do so without resorting to the circus-clown antics so often on display in today's NFL. That’s one good reason to choose hockey over football. Here are several more:

• Physicality. At the very least, hockey produces one monstrous hit per game; football simply cannot make that guarantee. Plus, in the NHL, there are far fewer confines on how you can “touch” an opposing player.
• Near-ceaseless action. Play stoppages on the ice are less frequent and shorter-lasting than those on the gridiron (you won’t see a hockey player step out of bounds or spike the puck to stop the clock).
• Fashion. Knee socks being the equalizer, real men would always pick bulky sweaters and shorts over polyester shirts tucked into skin-tight knickers.
• Penalties add excitement. How can you not love a game in which there are “good” penalties, and the infractions accentuate the drama rather than kill the momentum?
• No blood, no foul, no sniveling. Although there are exceptions, hockey’s general rule of thumb is unless plasma is gushing, don’t waste time pleading to an official for a penalty call.
• Games decided on the ice. Hockey coaches rarely, if ever, figure in the outcome. And players are not subject to clever play calls and coaching strategies that could compromise their efforts. Hockey coaches relay a philosophy, a game plan and in-game adjustments. When the puck drops, it’s up to the skaters to translate.
• No designations. Multitasking abounds in hockey. Every skater, to some degree, knows how to stick-handle, pass, shoot, check, defend and, when necessary, fight. Football has way too many specialists.
• Possession must be won. No matter who has the puck when play stops, teams must have a faceoff (love that term!) when play resumes. Can you imagine a coin flip at center ice? Talk about a fight-instigator. Speaking of coin flips …
• Solution: Shootout. While the NFL continues to haggle with a controversial overtime process, the NHL answered ringing criticism of ties with the most logical of fixes. A hockey shootout, in terms of pure competitiveness, stands right up there with any other sport’s one-on-one showdown.
• The Zamboni Factor. There’s no substantial point to make here; the Zamboni is just way cool.
• Not made for TV. This could be viewed as a negative depending on personal preference: Hockey is a hundred times more enjoyable live while football has become a three-hour, couch-potato, big-screen event.
• When the shoe is on the other foot … hockey players would fare better 99 percent of the time. To me, it’s the single most jarring blow you can make for hockey against any sport: Put a hockey player in cleats on grass and he’ll at least be able to hold his own. Put a football player in skates … end of story.

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